Pansexuality and bisexuality are closely related, but they’re not exactly the same.

Bisexuality generally means being attracted to more than one gender—often the same and different genders. It acknowledges gender in attraction, though it doesn’t require equal attraction to all genders. Pansexuality, on the other hand, means being attracted to people regardless of gender—gender isn’t a factor in who they’re drawn to. In other words, bisexuality recognises gender diversity in attraction, while pansexuality often moves beyond gender entirely. Some people feel that one term fits them better than the other, but both are valid, fluid identities within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

Yes, pansexual people can have preferences—and that doesn't make them any less pansexual.

Pansexuality means being open to attraction regardless of gender, but it doesn’t mean feeling the same level of attraction to everyone or lacking personal preferences. A pansexual person might be more commonly drawn to certain traits, personalities, or even genders, but the key is that gender itself isn’t a barrier to who they could be attracted to. Having preferences is natural—what defines pansexuality is the openness to connection with any gender, even if someone tends to favour certain types more often. It’s about inclusivity, not uniform attraction.

No, pansexuality is not just a phase.

It’s a valid and enduring sexual orientation, where someone can be attracted to people regardless of gender. Like any identity, pansexuality may take time for someone to understand or embrace, but that doesn’t make it temporary or “just a phase.” Dismissing it that way can be hurtful and invalidating. For many pansexual people, this identity is a core part of who they are—and it deserves the same respect as any other.

Yes, pansexual people can date just one gender—and they’re still pansexual.

Pansexuality is about being capable of attraction to people of any gender, not about dating multiple genders at once. Who someone is currently in a relationship with doesn’t define or erase their identity. A pan person dating one gender is simply expressing part of their attraction, not the whole picture—and that’s perfectly valid.

Talking to someone about being pansexual can be simple and personal—just share what feels right for you. Here are a few ways you might start:

• “I wanted to share something important—I’m pansexual, which means I’m attracted to people regardless of gender.”

• “Just so you know, I identify as pan. For me, connection isn’t about gender—it’s about the person.”

• “I’m pansexual, which means gender doesn’t really play a role in who I’m attracted to.”

You can explain more if they’re curious, but you don’t have to justify or defend your identity. Be calm, be honest, and remember—it’s okay if they need time to understand. What matters most is that you’re being true to yourself.

You might be if gender rarely plays a role in who you’re drawn to. If you’ve felt attraction to a variety of people without tying it to their gender identity — that could be pan. But remember: it’s okay to question, to explore, to not have certainty. If “pansexual” feels like it gives you room to breathe, that might be enough.

Disclaimer: These words are here to help you explore — not to define you. Only you can decide what feels right.